Thursday, December 26, 2013

Christmas Ice

Christmas is over, but it was just magical with about a half inch of ice coating everything.

We are looking forward to the new year now with gratitude.

Family and friends have enriched our lives so, we feel truly blessed.

Thank you

Saturday, December 21, 2013

My basement workshop has turned into a lair.
Stuff piled high on the benches and deep on the floor,
narrow pathways to a forgotten purpose.

A morning spent organizing and cleaning has changed the air.
Tools put away, surfaces clean and expectant of new projects,
It is a first step, not back, but forward.

I spend my energy wisely,
it is life force, squandered thoughtlessly in the past,
but so precious now.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

We are not who we think we are

I am eager for winter. This morning there was an unexpected light snow, the weather has been very cold so the flakes are super large. The air seems cleaner after the snow, everything is so quiet and some how pure.

Living in four seasons always gives you something to look forward to and the change marks the time.

Reading Thomas Metzinger, "The Ego Tunnel," this morning. " The brain is best described as a complex system continuously trying to settle into a stable state, generating order out of chaos."

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Reality Check

Self portrait this morning. It has been interesting recently. I sustained a bite to my finger trying to save my choking dog, Bella. Nearly severed my index finger trying to clear her airway. The biggest concern was infection. With my totally compromised immune system, this bite was life threatening. I have survived with good care and immediate attention and so did my dog.

It did bring my current condition into absolute focus. I am not well. As the ER doc said, "you look better than you do on paper." Fortunately, he had five years doing hand surgery in Boston and was able to stitch everything back together. IV antibiotics and good follow up care has allowed me to keep the finger.

My physical issues have such a direct impact on my mental attitude that it is impossible to separate the two. I am again brought to the awareness that life is a fragile thing. I am grateful for the time I have.

I wish we all could be present for our lives. Watch your thoughts and lead them back to now.

Thursday, November 14, 2013


I had my infusion yesterday morning and the rest of the day was lost to drug stupor. Not all days are spent "floating" but they do give me a benchmark.

I woke up this morning with a vivid memory of standing on the bank of the Mad River at 2 am in the morning and watching an avalanche of ice roar past as the river let go.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Quiet Time

I had some alone time this weekend. It was nice. With only my energy to fill the space, it was beautifully quiet, almost soft. My energy is ebbing so I didn't try to busy myself with chores and just relaxed into it.

I am enjoying a quiet mind these days. My thoughts float by like clouds seen from beneath still water.

Monday, November 4, 2013


The daily observations tend to get lost in memory unless they are captured. Those are the quiet moments of awareness, not spectacular insights perhaps, but they make up the fabric of our lives. I know if my thoughts are sincere that they will resonate with others and join the quiet energy that surrounds us. It is my way of reaching out and connecting again.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Old Hat

There was a gathering of old friends and smiths in Oakland last week. Looking at the pictures I had an ache. It was one of those moments in time when energy converges and something special occurs. I was not there and part of me longed for it. Axe N Sax

There was also a comfort in knowing that the craft is alive and growing with new and exciting talent. This is how I want the world to be. It makes me very happy to witness.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Morning Walk

My body was achy and tired this morning. I had a double treatment last week and this was the after effect from the drugs. I was able to go for a walk. It was a crisp morning, leaves fallen along the path. I watched my steps, feeling my feet inside my boots and the sun warming my pants.

Thoughts grabbed for my attention, but as soon as I recognized it, I released them and went back to the simple act of my body walking. I felt the contrast from the cold shady areas and the sunlit ones. It felt as though the light was a physical force pressing against my clothing and skin. The stiffness and achy feeling began to melt away. 

A simple act, walking, but when I got home, I had a different emotional state. I felt refreshed and at peace. So I start my day. 

Friday, October 18, 2013

Rainy October morning

A rainy morning in mid October. I went for my walk when the rain stopped. I had music on as I walked and it kept my mind from drifting. All I could feel was my body moving, the pavement beneath my feet, the cool air, and the light brightening through the overcast. The autumn leaves picked up the light and were almost luminescent. It was quite beautiful. My day is unplanned. I am recovering from my treatment this week and all I want out of the day is to be.

I have good music on while I write and it is comfortable here in the basement. My mind is not wandering, I am not depressed, it feels good to be able to sit and write. The music is quiet, Anouar Brahem, I feel mellow. My body is still sore from my treatment, but in the background.

I have been reluctant to expose myself as I did before on my website. What possible purpose could it serve other than to get me writing again. I don't want the audience that I had before and should probably just work on it in private, but there is something about the act of publishing that makes the words seem more important. It also curbs the thoughts. Not a bad thing, to look for the silver lining. 

Friday, October 4, 2013

Last week was spent on the coast of Maine